Friday, September 30, 2005
I once believed that life was gift. I thought whatever I wanted I would someday posses. Is that greed,or only youth?Is it hope or stupidity? As far as I was concerned the future was a book I could write to suit myself, chapter after chapter of good fortune. All was right with the world, and my place in it was assured, or so I thought then. I had no idea that all stories unfold like white flowers, petal by petal, each in its own time and season, dependent on circumstance and fate. The future is something no on can foretell.
My family has always traveled to many place. People said we were blessed,and maybe that was true. My mother was teacher for DODDES. My little sister Anna was wild has she was beautiful out playing and running around with out a care. I was least among them, noting special, just a girl. I was moody, dark, shy,Still they called my Pocahontas for my hair was long and flowing like hers. Anna was made out of laughter and moonlight, but I was nothing like her. Unlike my fearless sister, I was afraid of thunder and lighting. I coundnt get a good nights sleep in less I had my sister or a cat with me. But I was the one who good sit all day at the piano and play. I was Kayla who never smiled at anyone, who would rather be by my self or playing on the paino.I was shy and ill at ease, uncomfortable with girls my own age, unwilling to talk to the boys at school.I wasn't good company, that was true, and people avoided me, but that was all right. I was to busy dreaming.I never notice when people said hello to me. I was busy thinking about the future to come. When my mother sent us to store, I was too timid to enter the shop and sent my sister in my place.
Anna would laugh at how fainthearted I was.
They won't bite you, she said
All the same, I kept my distance. I didn't mind if the she went in. Anna would buy candy and share it with me.I was a reflection of what she was, a dark pond to mirror her moonlight. I hugged her, grateful that she didn't notice I was less than she was.
i miss what i used to be ;
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Every night a young girly walked out into the fields no lights nothing.
All she did was sit there and sing to her self. she sang songs of peace,love,famliy , sadness. One night has she sat there a star came down and asked why she sat in the dark. she replied that her family didn't have candels that she came from a poor family. The little star was sad she never knew life with out light. she bacame friends with the little girl. Every night they would meet and the girl would sing of her days. Pretty soon all the stars came to hear her sing even the moon.
One night she did not come and so the moon went to her house and saw the mother crying over the little girl. He asked her what is wrong and she told him that her daughter was sick. And there was nothing she could do.
that very night the moon went back and the stars what has happen. They all cryed for they didnt want her to die. So they decided that they would bring her to the skies and make her a star. The next day the moon went back and told mother what was going to happen she agreed for she didn't want her baby to die. Up in night they went and that is were the little girl lived. She told stories and sang to them. For she saw the sorrows in the world.
Every night you see a shoting star just remember that it the stras crying for those that are dying make a wish and wish them good health. For you never know if it might come true.
i miss what i used to be ;
Friday, September 23, 2005
- Heart is beating since 18-25 days
- Brain waves have been recorded at 40 days
- He squints, swallosw and can make a fist
- He has fingerprints and can kick
- He is sensitive to heat,touch,light, and noise
- He sucks his thumb
- ALL BODY SYSTEMS ARE WORKING
- he weights about 1 oz. and is 2 1/2 to 3" long
- He could fit comfortably in the palm of your hand
That is how a baby grows at those weeks. but have an abortion you are loseing everything that life has to offer. think hard before you give a little life away.
i miss what i used to be ;
Thursday, September 22, 2005
You want to know something great. Its haveing someone with you in your life. I have that someone his name is Andrew. We met in high school our senior year. At first we were just friends but... we started to hang out more and more till I asked him about us. He told me that I grew on him I knew we had to try. The thing was I leaving and he was to he leaving.He was going off to the Minot Afb, North Dakota for shcool. As for me I was heading to Italy with my family to attend school there.
But if you really like someone you should take the chance and see where it leads you. If its works out then you know you two were ment to be. but if it doesnt then you can find someone out there who will love you and wont break your heart. People say it easy doing long distance. I only think its easy for them cause they are in the states or country were they can fly or dirve down to see whoever it is. But as for me im all the way across the world I just cant fly or dirve down.You have to have the money and I dont have that right now. So it makes it harder for him and me.
But you know what I know we will last you have to have the will to stay strong for both of you. you aslo have to have the love. with out that well you know. I know Andrew loves me not by him saying it to me but his action. I hope I can do the same for him. No matter what I love him and I cant wait for the day when I will see him again.
I love you Andrew McCarthy with all my heart.
i miss what i used to be ;
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I was dreaming last night of the woods. I was all alone and didnt know were to go. It felt so real I told my sefl that it was just a dream that im ok. then all of a sundden I was coverd in mud head to toe. I didnt have any clothes on. next thing I know I was walking towards a waterfall and I was drowing. That is when I woke up.
I dont know why i was dreaming that but that was so i dont know scary. I hate it when i have dreams like that it makes me think. One i was alone but yet im not alone i have family around me all the time. It could be that i miss my friends and my boyfriend. then im all coverd in mud now that i dont know why that would be. Maybe i feel trap things that are going on same thing with me drowing. I just cant explain it. I know It could be that im afraid of messing up at work. whatever it is im sure i will have many more to come.
i miss what i used to be ;
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
I have just moved to Italy with my family, I didnt really know what to excepted. I heard from many people that it was a great place to go. I have lived many years in Japan so moving on to a new place was new to me. I also just started college. I want to be a music teacher or teacher I dont care I just love working with kids. So far i love it here. I dont have many friends but thats ok I go to school and work thats all I do. plus in my free time I help out at the school.
i miss what i used to be ;
