Thursday, October 20, 2005
Maria was 23 years old, bright, attractive--and headed for divorce. She and Danny had been married two years. Now she sat in her former youth pastor's office and dissolved into tears. "It's not working out,' She choked out between sobs." I don't know what happened. We were really in love, but we've lost something. I don't think we're going to make it..." Tragically, this scene is repeated over and over. Why is it that two people who are "Made for each other" so often end up looking for the escape hatch labeled "divorce"? Maybe a better question is: what does it take to keep a marriage from becoming a casualty? If marriage were just another human institution-- like a corporation or a university--then getting out of it would be no more significant or painful than changing jobs or switching school. Indeed, many people have tried to treat marriage that way, as something to enjoy when it's good or helpful and to terminate when it isn't. But those who have experienced a divorce will explain that failed marriage is infinitely more painful. There's more to marriage that the human dimesnsion. Marriage was God's holy and sacred idea. He perfomed "THE FIRST WEDDING" in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:18-25), thus setting up guidelines for all peole to follow: marriage is for one man and one woman for life. There are valid reason for sometimes breaking this pattern (for example, death or adultery). But the intened pattern is one man, one woman, for life. Unfortunately, in a fallen world is often is difficult to submit to God's standards, especially since his standards do not change. Marriage is a covenant betweena a husband and wife. A covenant is an agreement between two people (or group) that has benefits for keeping the arrangement and penalties for breaking it. Our relationship to God is descriged in covenant language throughout Scripture.The marriage relationship is described as a covenant (Malachi 2:14-15), and is used as an illustration of our relationship with God (Hosea 1:2; Ephesians 5:22-33). Just as our relationship with God is built on his steadfast, unchanging love and commitment towards us, so a marriage relationship is designed to be solid, faithful, and committed. Therein lies another extremely importan--but often overlooked principle for a successful marriage:commitment. M arriage is based on commitment, not emotions. The EMOTIONAL RUSH two people experience when they "Fall in love" and when they decide to marry is wounerful. it also is a terribly inadequate basis for marriage. that "rush"as powerful adn enfoyable as it mey be, will undoubtedly wear off at some point. If that's what the relationship is based on -- physical attraction, romantic ideals, passion--the flame my burn brightly, but it willnot burn for long. Romance, sexula attraction, and passion are tremendous God-given elements of a love relationship. But do not mistake them for the fou8ndation of a lifelong commitment. They are like icing on a cake.icing makes the cake much sweeter, but a diet of 100 percent refined sugar doesn't make for good health. To survive the pressure and temptations that attack a marriage,both husband and wife have to be totally committed to maing it work. Even when the romance is gone ( as it sometimes will be in any marriage), when the money is tight, or the urge to roun out is overwhelming, Christians musht stand strong on the commitment they have made. Instead of allowing the stresses to divide them, they must cling that much more tightly together. "What God has joined together, let no one" -- and no thing--"separate." Marriage, when seen from God's perspective, can be one of heis greatest gifts to his children. It can also, as Maria and millions of others have unfortunately discoverd, be a source of deepest pain. Whethere or not to marry--and what happens if you do marry--is up to you.
i miss what i used to be ;
